I have to make a confession. The reason why I started this blog was for selfish reasons.
I needed to start delving deeper within myself. For far too long I’ve listened and agreed without thinking for myself. I used to think for myself in college. College was all about discovering self and exploring the unknown. I had lots of deep, soul stirring conversations in college.
Then I graduated.
I lived life as an actress in New York. I was too busy starving and struggling and being an artist to think or allow myself to feel. What was my truth?
After I left NY, I became a flight attendant and soon a mother. I was so busy learning how to navigate the world of motherhood that I pushed thinking further away and settled into a routine.
It is now that I am a mother of a teen and guiding her through the minefield of life that I come to understand the importance of thinking for myself. My daughter and I talk and discuss how we feel about things. Our conversations matured, and I had a stronger desire to check in with me… How does Alicia feel about this? What does Alicia think?
These questions were important because far too long I was only regurgitating what I was told to think.
Several years ago, the vote for gay marriage was upon the table. A friend asked how I was voting. At the time, I vomited up everything I heard and was told to think, feel, and believe from church pastors even though I would deprive dear friends from the freedom to marry. I asked my daughter what she thought. She was in the 8th grade at the time. Her answer made me so proud because she would not deprive anyone from the freedom to love who they loved. No one influenced her.
That’s when I realized that I needed to stop relying on others to tell me what to think and feel. I needed to do it for myself.
I realize that I’m not yet free to express all of my thoughts. I do have a 9 to 5. I do have to pay bills. And, the internet is unforgiving. Yet, I will share what I feel and stand up for my freedom as well as the freedom of my fellow brothers and sisters. I will blog my honest thoughts and opinions because this blog is not about anyone else, but for me to be honest and forthright. I know, I know…I may turn some people off. I might even offend others. Some posts won’t be read. Others will be disagreeable. I get it. We all think differently. But, this blog isn’t about you. Or the selfish part of me. Honestly, not enough of us are able to speak our truths. Through this blog, I will do my best.
Sooo…the next several blogs will be about freedom. What freedom of our truths mean. What it means to us as individuals and the world in which we live. I’ll blog because I want my daughter to have the courage to speak her truth.
I hope you follow me on this journey of freedom.